Comedian and television personality Russell Howard has recently been open about one of the most traumatic experiences in his life, sharing the news of the death of his newborn son Felix shortly after birth. Howard and his partner Cerys had welcomed Felix as their second child earlier this year, but soon their joy was replaced by heartbreak when their baby son died shortly after birth. Howard shared the story in public, and commented on the loving care they received from the hospital nurses and doctors and how it helped them get through a period of unimaginable loss.
Howard and Cerys thought that they would be happy and excited when they had their second child. On the contrary, they discovered that they were experiencing the heartbreak of losing their baby. Howard didn’t just want to tell people about his loss, he wanted to raise awareness about the support families need during miscarriage, premature birth, stillbirth or any other loss.
Howard shared the news of the Felix Foundation and shared his thoughts about the care given to him and Cerys during those tough times. When our lives were at their worst, the hospital staff who took care of us were very compassionate, kind and humane. They helped us through an unimaginable heartache and provided us with support when we needed it most,” he said. He also recognised that it had changed their lives forever.
Medical personnel was a pivotal aspect of Howard and Cerys’ experience. Lauren was a bereavement midwife who was one of the people who helped them. She was not only a medical practitioner, but she also had other duties. She was able to help the family understand and cope with what was going on, and to give them the time they could spend with their baby.
Howard explained that the family was able to hold Felix, speak to him and express their love for him. Those hours were some of the most special memories we have of Felix, he said, “We could hold him, talk to him and tell him how much we loved him.” Time with a deceased infant can be significant to the grieving parents. It can be a very painful experience but can be remembered for a lifetime.
Howard’s decision to share the truth about Felix’s death also resulted in the creation of the Felix Foundation in his son’s name. The comedian wants the tragedy not to just be a very personal tragedy, but has the foundation become a support for other families who may be facing a similar loss.
The organisation will be established to offer emotional and practical support to parents, siblings and other close family members impacted by pregnancy and newborn loss. This will involve families who have experienced miscarriage, premature birth, stillbirth and neonatal death and bereavement.
Howard’s plans for the foundation are not just for emotional counselling or immediate support. The organisation also intends to help improve facilities and resources in hospitals, maternity units and neonatal care. It is intended that this will support the establishment of settings in which families facing catastrophic loss are able to access the care that they need whilst enabling the dignity and wellbeing of babies and family members.
The hospital setting can be very intertwined with family experiences of hope and loss for those who experience a neonatal loss. Medical treatment may cease upon the death of a baby, however emotional needs of parents/relatives may exist for quite some time. Having compassionate staff, private room and specialist bereavement support may therefore be a difference-maker in a very difficult period.
Howard’s decision to establish a foundation from his personal experience also reinforces the need to acknowledge the grief that occurs when a baby dies. These losses can be hard to discuss with family members and many parents may feel isolated as they try to understand what has happened to them. Howard and Cerys, by putting Felix in the centre of the organisation, seem to be making this a means of supporting others.
The Felix Foundation is also looking forward to a huge fundraising event in the O2 in London next February. Michael McIntyre, John Bishop and Mo Gilligan, Aisling Bea and Jimmy Carr are among the many established comedians expected to be at the event. The performers will be participating in a special show relating to Howard’s story and fundraising efforts for the foundation.
The event is intended to raise awareness as well as funds for the organisation. Any topic that can be connected to the cause of grief can be the subject of comedy and a successful fundraising campaign has been around for a long time, using live entertainment to attract attention to causes that might otherwise not get the ear of the public. With Howard, there is also an opportunity to remember Felix, as well as to help families cope with the loss of a child.
Howard’s career has revolved around comedy and TV and he is known for his lively acting and observational approach. Talking about the death of his son, however, has got him in a far more individualized and surprising situation. His public speaking isn’t so much about his profession as it is about the individuals who helped his family through a very difficult period in his life.
