The last time Monica Bellucci was in a rush was the last time she was not. The Italian actor embraced a different tempo in an industry that has a reputation for doing things quickly—getting famous fast, achieving early milestones, and launching careers fast. At the age of sixty-one, Bellucci reflects on her journey not regretting the lost years, but taking things easy as she counts her blessings. Her thoughts on growing older, being a mother, and individual freedom give her a unique insight that is hard to find in the world of celebrity and where youth is the only currency that counts.
In a conversation with Vogue India, which took place over 10 years ago, Bellucci candidly shared her reasons for not rushing into the big things in life with Anupama Chopra. She was already 50 years old and the words were not those of advice but of real experience. I’m very slow, I take my time, I had my first child when I was 40, my second at 45, I’m at 50 in a James Bond film and I’m interested to see what comes next, she said. It was a curiosity, she said, “not because of the fear of aging, but because of the comfort of being where she was.
The reason why Bellucci’s attitude towards the subject of ageing is so infectious is because she definitely fights the terror associated with the prospect of getting older, especially for the ladies on the screen. She confided that she would not want to be a 20 year old again. At the age of fifty, she said, she felt better than she ever had did in her twenties, and had two gifts from age, both of which had come to her quietly: gratitude and strength. She noted that fear and insecurity can be brought along with youth. They don’t always see their beauty or value. Instead of viewing aging as a loss, Bellucci viewed it as a gradual process of coming to know oneself, to become calm, to become more authentic, to become more free.
Her voice is never didactic. Rather, it feels like someone who’s been around for long enough to observe things. It is in her perspective that she speaks truth beyond the scope of Hollywood or European cinema. She’s not offering advice to anyone else. She is talking about what she learned from being patient. That’s important, because readers who are just sick of vacuous inspirational sayings. Bellucci’s wisdom isn’t motivational scripted, it’s real life.
For Bellucci, the arrival of motherhood came at the right time, too. By the time she gave birth to her first child at forty and her second at forty-five, she was a bit older than most of her peers, but she didn’t make it seem like a compromise. Instead, she chose to redefine motherhood as a transformative experience for her. It gave her new knowledge about her and a new perspective on the world. Meanwhile, she was being truthful about the day-to-day parenting struggles. Her daughters were young back then, and weren’t too concerned about the kind of films she was in, she said, but they were more concerned about her not being around at home. This little, relatable detail makes her story real. She wasn’t only an international star, she was also a mother who was missed by her children.
As she went to work on larger projects, Bellucci never forgot her role as a mother. She did not make it an issue of work vs. family. Rather, she spoke them both with the same casualness. That equilibrium, or lack of tension, should be noted, since many public figures depict motherhood and ambition as being in opposition. Bellucci, however, wasn’t having it.
Freedom, Bellucci says, is the noblest of luxuries. Not in a philosophical abstract way, she didn’t mean freedom. She meant the motherhood thing practically – the freedom to be able to decide when to be a mother, when to play a role, when to refuse. She added that for many women around the world, freedom is still a struggle of the day to day. She was anchored by that awareness, which kept her words grounded. She didn’t just celebrate her own choices. Her statement was recognition that not all women are afforded the same opportunities and that is a well-balanced and trustworthy observation, not a boastful one.
When it comes to Indian film, Bellucci was open-minded, but not overly enthusiastic. She said she never visited India but would like to visit India. She commended the Indian directors and independent icons but at the same time forced a gentle questioning of the industry as to why the collaboration had not taken place yet by Indian filmmakers. This little comment meant a lot. This was no demand. It was a thoughtfully presented invitation with a touch of curiosity.
Bellucci leaves out as she makes her way. There is no urgency for youth. Never worry about missing out. No regrets about late life family planning! Rather, she had a gentle surrender to the fact that her speed, slow, steady and patient, was just right. Now, at 61, she still embodies a certain kind of confidence that doesn’t scream for it to be heard. It simply exists.
