Over the past few months, Millie Bobby Brown and her husband Jake Bongiovi have found themselves caught up in an unexpected public debate this time, one that’s not about their careers or their new marriage, but who’s bringing what when the family comes out the door. It began as is typical of such things, quietly. Some unflattering photos and clips of Bongiovi walking beside Brown as she carried a baby in a carrier, while carrying two bags in her other hands, surfaced online. The commentary was soon not so much casual observation as sharp criticism. Social media users started to wonder about his role as a husband and a father.People on social media started to ask themselves about his role as a partner and as a father. He was described as not being supportive by some. Some went further and claimed that he couldn’t even do his basic fatherly job. The story spiraled out of their control and for a time, no one seemed to reply from Brown or Bongiovi. However, lately the Stranger Things actor felt that it was his duty to set the record straight.
Brown was recently featured on the Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce podcast on June 11, and the conversation started to shift to the months of backlash her husband has endured in silence. Instead of being brushed aside or a carefully calibrated PR statement, she addressed the subject directly, as she always had done with her public persona. “When did women lose the ability to carry their own bags, car seats and things?” was a Millie Bobby Brown’s question during the episode. Her voice didn’t sound like a defense. It was more practical, like she really wanted to know how a stranger, sitting just a few seconds from her, could decide how to change her character for several years.
She went on to elaborate on why the viral photos didn’t tell the whole story, which happens when a person has been on the receiving end of a moment of doom in public, which is probably something that anyone can relate to. “This stems from me holding all of my suitcases and bags and my kid, and people are like, ‘Your husband doesn’t hold a single thing.’ And I’m like, ‘Because I’m three miles ahead. I have been planning this all night,’” she said. Her perception was that it was more of a timing and temperament issue than neglect. She had just assumed the moment; she acted swiftly and efficiently and Bongiovi at his own speed. It didn’t mean that he was not willing to help. It simply meant that just at that moment she didn’t need him.
I found myself surprised by how few nuances she has when it comes to couples of celebrities. We perceive a single picture and in our mind it is established in a pattern. Now imagine a man walking alone without anything in his hands—his wife carries all of the load—must be out of it or irresponsible. Relationships, do not do in freeze frames. They operate in long, kinky, unsnitchy timeframes where everyone changes their role, responsibilities are split in ways that outsiders may not see as equal, and people understand each other’s beats. Brown and Bongiovi have been married since 2024 and have adopted a child last year. That says a lot about commitment and intent, which a paparazzi photo cannot bring back.
Brown also mentioned a subject that many women will get right away: “A larger irony is that many women will be aware of this right away. In the abstract women can be anything, can do anything, can handle anything, society celebrates their empowerment. But when woman actually takes charge, the very same system that extolled her independence will come back and fault the man next to her. “People always talk about women empowerment; how women can do everything on their own,” she says on the podcast. But, when I do everything on my own one time, people began telling my husband that he doesn’t love me enough and he’s not a good parent. It is a contradiction deep seated and she spoke it out loud.
It was never in her mind if bongiovi could help. Whether he was respectful enough to allow her to lead when she desired, it was about that. In that regard, she was quite clear. “No one knows my husband,” she replied. “My husband is sweet, polite, will do anything for me, but I know I can do things to him as well. Let’s take a minute to ponder that final line. It’s not a complaint. It’s not a call for sympathy. A silent but powerful statement of joint effort, based on understanding, not showmanship. She didn’t say that she didn’t want anybody to criticize the guy who couldn’t do anything about Bongiovi. She was telling them to lay off as the criticism was totally misinformed and based on a misunderstanding regarding the relationship.
In an editorial sense, it is an intriguing question when a public figure becomes the subject of a private relationship drama.As an editor, the question is: when does a public person become a subject of a private relationship drama? If it was objectively clear that there was neglect or injury, the dialogue would be different. Here, though, are a few images and a bunch of guesses. Brown didn’t request anonymity or privacy or that people cease to look. She instead redefined the whole discussion, perhaps the issue is not that the husband walks empty-handed, but that the culture is unable to determine whether it wants the women to be strong or for them to be scolded when they are.
