S Poddar
Kirstie Allsopp, the television presenter, has attacked the risk-averse culture in Britain after being referred to social services for allowing her teenage son to travel around Europe on his own. Speaking after a decision to allow her then 15-year-old son Oscar to go Interrailing last year, she said that she had received a call from a social worker who informed her that a file had been opened amid concerns about child protection.
Oscar had just finished his GCSEs and was out with a friend of 16 years. Allsopp feels, even at that age, that it had been a useful experience. She was horrified when social services became involved. The 52-year-old presenter explained her situation on Instagram by saying she cannot believe that such a situation could have occurred, further noting, “I thought his trip was inspiring, and it never occurred to me in a million years that a call from children services would be involved. It’s been a huge shock, not least for Oscar.”.
The RBKC social worker who telephoned her did not explain how the referral to Allsopp had been made or by whom. It seemed she was accused of lying, and a malicious complaint of some other description had been made against her. The social worker just kept repeating that “RBKC had to consider all referrals here,” yet she failed to answer what safety measures had been put in place for her son’s journey.
She summed it all up into a feeling when she said it was just sick, absolutely sick. “I was furious; I could not believe they were taking this seriously. I mean, I just felt sick—absolutely sick. I was cross. I was very, very cross. It was just so extraordinary. I was in a parallel universe where they were actually taking this seriously.”. “I have done nothing wrong and there is nothing irresponsible in letting my child travel around Europe,” she told the Mail on Sunday.
Such claims have been disputed by a spokesman from RBKC, which said that the local council has a legal duty to follow-up on every notification. Allsopp later discovered that a file had been opened on Oscar, and it may remain open in case of receiving further referrals. The social worker also explained to her the need for record-keeping, in case the subject might arise on another referral, which could be investigated more thoroughly sometime in the future.
Allsopp was taken aback by the news and compared it to something imagined by George Orwell in his dystopian fiction. “That was the sucker punch for me – the idea this file may continue in existence.”. She said to me, ‘If in six months there was another referral and we needed to come to your house and look into this further, it would be important that we had kept a note of the first referral.’ That was the Orwellian moment. The fact it was maliciously done wasn’t coming home to her.”
The former Location, Location, Location presenter has only just revealed her son has left home. She told her Twitter followers last month he has turned 16 since he went. A photograph of Welcombe beach in north Devon, near the family’s holiday home, was posted on Sunday. Describing the August bank holiday tradition. She said it had “formed the backdrop from which so many kids get their first taste of independence. From going off to the beach without their parents, to rock pooling.”.
For Allsopp, it’s about parenting—raising independent kids. She believes the freedoms that children enjoyed in the olden days are polar opposites to fear and restriction in parenting today. “It is our job to raise our children to leave the nest, the enormous cost of nests aside,” she wrote. Recently returning from Switzerland accentuated a difference in bringing up children between this and other countries. Allsopp said that in Switzerland, as is the case in Japan, kids need to be self-sufficient and accountable before kindergarten.
Speaking post-her experience, Allsopp admitted that the UK and the US are becoming too careful.
She discussed social psychologist Jonathan Haidt’s work, which was about how less freedom is tied to more diagnosis of disorders in children. She agreed that she was listing things that probably most parents consider risks in allowing an unmonitored teenager to travel, but this had never occurred to her as something that social services would be called about. She continued that the whole affair has been a shock—not least because of its tenacity.
On the flip side, Allsopp remains optimistic that her case will create a broader discussion around the freedoms children used to be given, and the harm that can be caused by the constraints and fears being piled on children nowadays. She advised people to consider what that balance looks like, between protecting children and giving them independence to develop. A spokesman for the council said: “The safeguarding of children is paramount and all referrals are treated very seriously, with the council having a duty of care to protect under-18s.
